App Shopper: Volleyball and Digital Scoreboard Pro (Utilities)

Scoreboard App for the Apple lovers

App Shopper: Volleyball and Digital Scoreboard Pro (Utilities)

Guide for Losers

I don’t know about you but trying to cope without the holiday season is like that ridiculous itch I get in my ass. I got that shit right now.

Recommendation for reading this: Open this and then continue on… []D[][]v[][]D

So I decided to write for the singles out there.  The ones that were disgusted looking at couples kiss during New Years while swallowing back down your own vomit.  Okay, it wasn’t that bad, but it did suck like shit.  It’s not bad being single… but when the moment comes, it sucks like shit.

First of all, if you believe that each person has that one specific soul mate in this world, then that’s your belief and you are retarded you should probably stop reading.  I thank you for stopping by, but you must leave.  But seriously, how do you find that special someone a soul mate?  And by soul mate, I simply mean that one person that you can spend the rest of your life with, which could be more than just that one person.  I can really describe what I mean by that but – com’on dumbass man – ya’ll know what I mean.  I’m obviously not an expert, but I’ve devised a set of instructions that your dumb ass you can follow.  If you’re single, you must read on.  If you’re single and over 30, stop reading and go on craigslist.com eHarmony.com.  I call this… 

HOW TO BE A PLAYER LOVER

Step 1 – Reconnaissance.  Everyone should be an expert at this very first step.  Scouting your soul mate.  This is where you, as the prey, become the stalker and innocently stare/follow the shit out of your victim.  Cyber-recon is not cool; that’s just creepy stalker status.  But this is where you explore, survey and collect information and place your victim in your hit list.

Step 2 – Booby-trap.  This is the step where you innocently fool your victim into meeting you; not you meeting the victim.  (Ladies, you can skip this step.  Your booby-trap would be to approach a dude and rub his head.  If he’s really into his hair, he’s probably gay).  Anyways… It’s merely impossible to just walk up to that person and introduce yourself, so this set-up would ease the problem a little bit.  How sophisticated you set this booby-trap depends on your creativity as a person.  I would guess that you are with some sort of friend so using them, as a wingman/wingwoman, would definitely mitigate the traces of your trails.

Step 3 – Grow some balls (Girls, grow some breasts).  This third step is literally your third step in ‘real’ life, and – no shit – the most important.  Most people would take the first two steps forwards while the third step goes awkwardly crooked back to their grave.  There is no easy way out of this… you have too meet the person!  Remember, your recon skills are probably shitty so not every victim on your hit list will be the perfect mate.  This probably takes awhile before you find your kind.

Step 4 – Wax your balls.  This is the step where you polish what you have done.  This is actually the easy step.  You’ve done the hard work by reeling that person in your life, now it’s your job to not mess it up.  If it means to change a few things, it’s all right.  I know changing is not conventional, but in some ways it is necessary.  For example: hygiene properly, keep your place clean, hide your personals that you normally display, and even as much as I hate saying this… don’t play Black Ops when he’s there (you girls know who you are). 

Step 5 – Solitary.  This is the very last step; the hardest step to accomplish.  I don’t recommend this for the weak-hearted people like me but if you want to test your true soul mate, this step is the ultimate test.  Simply… leave.  I know this is the dumbest shit in the world retarded  but it is the only way.  ‘You want to give your soul mate a taste of what it feels like to have a life without you’.  I never said run off, but more of some time apart.  If they can live with it, then you saved a lot of time and money in your investment.  And if they can’t, then you’ve got yourself one hell of a kind.

The last thing I’d request is for you is to be a bona fide prey.  

Thanks for reading and wasting your goddamn time. Payce!

Dookies and Giggles

Sooo... through the encouragement of my sister, Queen L (to protect her entity identity), I have created my very own Blog.  Just keep in mind that I was not too aggressive throughout the years I have taken English courses, and editing this will be at a premium discount.  I am also pretty sure by the time Queen L reads this Blog, I will be bitch slapped  thrashed with tons of feedbacks, corrections and suggesstions.  But there is one thing you don't have to worry about, being discouraged by opening another internet window looking up words on Dictionary.com only to say to yourself, “I must be really dumb, ‘cause I still don’t understand what this word means.”  I mean... really?! Nowadays, you have to look up word after word just to try to understand 'the' word.  And if you get lucky you'll get one of those words where it makes you go in a big ass circle.  Queen L is notorious for that.

As an icebreaker, I have a story to tell - it can be true...  it may be fake... you decide.

I'm at BJ's Restaurant and Brewhouse and a beautiful girl engages the seat next to me at the bar. “Is anyone sitting here?” No. She takes the seat and it didn't take very long before we mellowed out cracking jokes at one another (that would be my slang for flirting... or dry sex.. haha).  We're having a good time until my Ex shows up and sits next to me.  Really?!  What are you doing here?!  I guess she didn't get the hint months ago that I still hate her guts.  Right away, I turned to the chick next to me, explained to her the situation and offered her a huge buck to make out with me.  She took the offer; I gave her the big buck.  (Long story short...) I pretended to use the restroom, but actually went home.  So the money I gave her was actually for the bill.  I knew one of the bartenders, so I shoot her a text to lie to the girl for me.  Apparently, I was a CIA agent that day on an emergency call.  Haha... life is great!

But really, let’s get to the main course of this.  Why am I writing a blog?  The truth is... I kinda liked Xanga back in the days, so this is my version of it. And constantly updating my Facebook status is probably really annoying, so anything that pops in my head, will be written here.  I won't be focusing on anything here, but a more diversified array of subjects where I can share my opinions on topics such as: Sports (a lot of sports), business, health (not really), politics, military, and just... whatever.  Don't expect to read about who I think will win the Super Bowl, but more of how Tom Brady Brett Farve is a crybaby; or to read about the Health Care reform, but more on how I wooped Obama in basketball and sprained his ankle; or about gay marriage, but more about my reactions towards Carries Prejea’s respond during the Miss America pageant. 

Without further boredom, you are an idiot if you read this I congratulate you on managing to read through this lengthy blog.  I've actually cut this blog in half by eliminating the profanity.  As for Shits Dookies and Giggles, if you would like me to discuss about any topics or situations, or even challenge me on anything, send me a message and I'll woop your ass come up with something - whether it's through my intellectual mind (if any) or out of my ass butt hole (plenty of that).